


7 days in heaven

by Anchor_and_rope



Category: One Direction
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Louis, Fingering, Fooling Around, Fratboy Niall, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Oh and Louis and Harry are the same age, Riding, Sad Ending, Shameless Smut, Top Harry, bc he dresses like one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-24
Updated: 2015-05-24
Packaged: 2018-04-01 00:50:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3999631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anchor_and_rope/pseuds/Anchor_and_rope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Uni AU Where Louis and Harry has a friends with benefits relationship until the end of Easter break and then they return as normal friends, if that.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1

Sounds of the clock was dominating the voice I had listen to for too long. The ticking-sound got louder as the important man in front of the class' voice was weak like a "woman" as he would say it. I couldn't even go through a class with that sexist and homophobe without imagining to strangle him with my bare hands. I tried to ignore his personality and continued taking notes of what was written on the board. That was what I usually did, but the universe seemed to be against me today. My lenses were dried out irritating my eyes while I swore under my breath. I blinked once, twice but it ended up with one of the lenses falling down on my notebook. I swore once again, a little bit louder this time, catching my friend's attention with a concerned expression on his face. He mouthed 'what's wrong?' But I shrugged him off as I tried to pick the invisible lens with my uncleaned index finger. I showed my lens to Liam for him to understand that I had to leave Professor Haze's class and hopefully he would let me copy his notes afterwards. Grabbing my books and laptop with one hand while holding the lens with the other hand was hard.

I left English class with accidentally slamming the door too hard. Once I was outside, I heard Professor Dickhead stop talking for a second after my "dramatically" door slam. It left a satisfied smirk on my dried lips when I began to walk back to the dorm with a blind eye. I held my books and laptop like those fancy waitresses held plates which wasn't the best decision I made. My eyes were glued on the things I balanced in my hand and didn't give a second glare to were I was walking. Loud sounds of heels hitting the floor came across my ears and suddenly the weight on my hand weren't there anymore. I felt a flat hard chest against my own as I fell, but I didn't care, my contact lens was more important. I was lying in the floor with my attention directly to my index finger still holding the untouched lens. I sighed in relief and thanked God while I saw a man collecting my books from the floor. I soon recognized the man with the two birds tattooed on his broad chest. His shirt was only buttoned up to his stomach revealing his naked chest with his cross-necklace sway in the air as his long dark-brown hair fell down from his ear and hid his face. I had seen him in the halls a couple of times, but I didn't know his name and I had no intentions what so ever.

He stood up giving me my books while I took them with both hands and a flirty smile. I stared at his eyes and forgot the contact lens that were supposed to be on my index finger. The lens were nowhere to be seen as I tried not to panic in front of the ridiculously attractive stranger. But I saw the lens on the floor next to his weird boots and I could scream in joy.

"I'm sorry, I'm in a bit rush and I didn't see you there." He apologized with a low steady voice and I could feel his eyes watching me, but I was busy watching the lens with a blind eye. I ignored his apology as I squat to take the lens, but someone's foot stepped on it. "Eh? What are you doing down there?" He asked looking down on me when he shifted his feet. I got up and knew that I would regret what I would say to this man.

"Are you fucking kidding me? You just stepped with your big foot on my lens and now I don't have any left for this month! Do you know how much contact lenses cost? Do you? NO, because you don't have a fucking sight problem!" I yelled at his attractive face. His eyebrows were furrowed shadowing the corner of his eyes. His green eyes weren't as green nor friendly as I saw them in the beginning and his mouth were in a firm line. He didn't look very happy.

"I'm sorry for your precious little lens, very mature of you to yell at a stranger like that." He answered back with still a calm low voice. He slightly pushed my chest with his hand and I heard him mumble "have some manners" before he walked away.

"I do have manners, you prick!" I yelled and watched his back disappear. My day were already going bad and this lens-stepping asshole made it even worse. He didn't even realize what he had caused. Lenses for six months were around 51 pounds with my sight and I was living on 1 pound noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I didn't have time for a job when I had advanced class in Sociology and in English Academic Writing. I walked back to my dorm that looked like it did in the morning. One bed made with folded clothes on the side and one messy bed with teacups and dirty clothes on it. I took off the other lens and threw it with the thought of how much one pair of lenses cost. The worst part was that I had to wear my glasses now and it wasn't something I was looking forward to. The only person who had seen me with glasses in camp was Liam and I had planned that it would stay like that, but nothing goes as planned. That guy I bumped into probably hated me now, but why should I care? I had other things to worry about, but not now. I needed some sleep for my brain to function properly.

 

\--

 

"Louis?" The familiar soft voice asked as I felt his warms soft hands on my shoulder. He repeated my name, but I didn't want to open my eyes, not yet. Even if I had pressed the snooze button twice, I couldn't get up. The hand warming my cold body shook more roughly now and Liam's voice raised when he said my name once again.

"I'll be heading next door for dinner. I swear it isn't noodles this time." Liam explained and I knew I had to tag along to be the awkward third wheel, because Liam couldn't be alone with Zayn. Don't ask me why, because I didn't know either.

"No noodles?" I asked batting my eyelashes at him with a grin on my face. A smile came across his lips as he took a grip of my arm and dragged me out of his small bed. I whined and exaggerated the pain he brought. I slapped his arm away once I stood up on the floor and it was now hard for me to see the facial details of Liam. I had managed to sleep for 30 minutes without thinking of my problems until I remembered my contact lenses. I sighed as I searched for my dark-blue glasses under the bed. I got down on my knees while I stretched my arm to reach my glasses.

"I just have to change shirt and fix my hair." I told him when I could see him. Liam looked confused the whole time when I fixed my fringe and put on a black t-shirt with my grey sweatpants. He knew how much I hated wearing glasses in front of people. It made my nose wider and my eyes smaller than they already were. I nodded to give him the sign that we could go out now and we did it without a word leaving Liam's mouth. It only took us some seconds to reach to Zayn's dorm and Liam politely knocked on the door even if he knew that the door was already open. A weak yell came from Zayn telling us to wait while we stared at the door. Liam then turned to look at me which was uncomfortable, I did not enjoy people staring at me.

"Why won't you take a picture? It last longer you know?" I joked.

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm just a bit surprised that you have your glasses on." Liam said and I couldn't explain why I was wearing them when a sleepy Zayn opened the door. He welcomed us in to his dorm and I quickly made myself comfortable on the bed. Liam and Zayn shared a quick kiss on the cheek which led to a kiss on the lips and then tongues, it truly was disgusting. It was first time for me to be in Zayn's dorm and in these two weeks in Uni Zayn was the only thing Liam talked about. I coughed loudly after their make out-session to make it clear that I was still in the room. That's when Zayn finally noticed my arrival too, but seemed to be shocked to see the glasses.

"Bro, I didn't know you had bad sight." He said and you could hear how surprised he was. I nodded and gave an awkward smile.

"You're saying it like it's a good thing." I said after sitting on the floor to start a new game at FIFA.

"Well, I- I mean those glasses fits you. That's all." Zayn said when he sat beside me on the floor as Liam handed him another Xbox controller. Liam and Zayn got to play first and I would play against the winner because I was best at FIFA, everybody knew that. As I watched the screen and heard Zayn cheer every time he managed to take the ball away from Liam, all I could think about was my stomach.

"So what happened to no noodles?" I asked the two focused boys. Liam just shrugged his shoulders and Zayn let a 'dunno' slip from his mouth as he consistently pressed the A button. I rolled my eyes at them and had to get in front of the television to get their attention. I did some jumping-jacks until Liam and Zayn stopped ignoring me.

"What!?" He yelled as he paused the game. I crossed my arms and weren't a bit pleased over how he suddenly was yelling at me, Zayn weren't pleased either.

"I'm sorry, but what is it?" Liam politely asked.

"Thank you very much Li, I'm only here because I was promised food, not seeing you two eat your face off of each other and witness Zayn loose like every single time."

"Hey! Why are you so rude? I have won some couple of games before." Zayn defended, but I gave him a look and he soon faced reality.

"So, food?" I asked once again.

"Oh, yeah my dorm mate was picking pizza after his classes." Zayn answered my question while he tried to score. The game ended 3-1 to Liam and we waited another 5 minutes until someone knocked on the door. Zayn yelled to him to come in and all I could focus was the smell of melted cheese and tomato sauce.

"Finally." I said under my breath when I saw the white box, but my eyes wandered to the hand accessorized with rings and a anchor tattoo. I went silent when I watched the attractive man who ruined my contact lenses holding my food with a charming smile. He greeted Zayn and Liam with that smile until he saw me. He looked at me with the same furrowed eyebrows and then turned to look at Zayn again.

"Why is he sitting on my bed?" He said to Zayn after he gladly opened the white box. After realizing that I wasn't sitting on Zayn's bed I got up and went to the small kitchen.

"Do you know Louis?" Liam asked politely while he wrapped his arm around Zayn's back. Even Liam could feel the hate in the room.

"No, I don't know him." The man with the weird boots said and they all came to the kitchen and sat. We sat awkwardly eating on the table and Liam tried to talk about the weather. I saw which pizza slice the long-haired man was going to take and it was a big one. I really didn't know why I suddenly got the urge to annoy him so I snapped the pizza slice before he could reach for it. As I bit the victory slice the six eyes were staring at me.

"What?" I asked with food in my mouth. I didn't care anymore how I looked in front of these people. The man had already seen me with glasses, so what's the point? Liam sent me the 'behave' look I used to get from Mum, but I rolled my eyes at him knowing how much he hates that.

"Okay. Eh Harry, this is Louis my boyfriends mate and Louis, this is Harry." Zayn introduced poorly, but I only heard the name Harry and immediately thought of Harry Potter. The attractive man so-called "Harry" had his hand waiting to shake mine. My eyes looked back and forth from his poisonous expression to his polite hand. I slammed my clean hand into his confidentially, but soon felt so small when his big hand squeezed my less bigger hand harshly. Once he looses the harsh grip I wanted to check my hand to see if it was okay, but that was what he exactly wanted me to do. Instead I took my half-eaten pizza slice with that hand while the boys talked about work and other things.

"Ow." I whined quietly when I noticed how his finger-prints marked my skin, but nobody noticed because Zayn asked for another game of FIFA. Once I stopped looking at my hand I saw Harry with a disgustingly hot smirk on his face as his eyes were amused in the familiar green color I had remembered since the beginning. My nerves were getting the best of me making my cheeks reddened and my body all weird and sweaty. So I decided to leave to get some fresh air. When I got up Liam started asking me a lot of questions which I ignored. I took the last pizza slice and returned to my dorm.

When I entered the room I placed the pizza slice on the desk and face-palmed myself for being an idiot. It had been a while since I was attracted to someone and it might was a bit easier for me to get aroused these days, but who could blame me? These two weeks in Uni had been exhausting and I didn't have the guts or time to actually meet other persons. Harry had seen me with a stained black t-shirt, glasses and dark circles under my eyes and I'm sure he wasn't attracted to me. Instead of thinking of Harry I decided to take out Liam's note and copied what I had missed in Professor Haze's class. I had wanked, finished my last pizza slice and the notes when someone knocked on the door. I smiled with fond as I knew Liam still knocked to avoid an awkward moment with me being naked. That was a important rule we made, though I wouldn't mind seeing him naked.

"No need to knock, Liam!" I yelled and scrolled through my empty timeline on Facebook. I heard the door open as I was utterly shocked to see Harry come in.

"Can I help you?" I said harshly.

"Zayn and Liam forgot about me- after Liam let Zayn win and it kinda got a-little bit too far for my liking." He awkwardly said and scratched the back of his neck.

"Yeah, they tend to do that a lot." I said while my head kept nodding the whole time. Harry then came closer and sat on Liam's bed. His surprisingly long fingers went through his long hair before his eyes watched my thighs on the chair.

"I'm sorry that I stepped on your contact lens." He apologized once again, but meaning it this time. His eyes wandered from my hair, eyes, chest and to my thighs. It made me uncomfortable, but in the same time flattered.

"No, really. I'm sorry for getting so angry, it's just that I really didn't want to wear my glasses." I honestly said and smiled politely at him.

"I think I did a favor for everyone then, you look very sharp in those thick glasses." Harry said making me put on my best poker-face. As I always did I failed miserably and felt a smile grow along with my heated cheeks.

"Thank you for that lie." I said and returned to my laptop.

"You're welcome... Mate." Harry said in a amusing tone in his voice. His heels hit the floor and stopped when he reached the front door.

"That wasn't a lie." He said in a soft tone before he closed the door behind him making me smile widely.

 

 

\--

 

After knowing Harry for two weeks everything was exactly the same, the only difference was that I didn't have to be full-time third-wheel for Liam anymore. Harry and my roommate became somehow close and I tried not to be bothered about it, but I was. I was kind of possessive over my friends and things and it was a reason to why many people felt trapped with me. I had known Liam since the two of us was sophomores in high school and the Wolverhampton lad didn't seem to be bothered when I became a little clingy. I wasn't jealous of Zayn hanging a lot with Liam, because he was 'the boyfriend' for Liam while I was 'the best friend' and Harry couldn't ruin that.

So I focused on my study instead and telling myself over and over again that I was Liam's only best friend, Harry couldn't ruin that, I wouldn't let that happen. I checked the clock once again on my cell-phone and decided to text Liam again.

**Where are u??**

Staring at the screen which burned my tired eyes with the high screen-light for two minutes. It was past midnight when Liam came with Harry to the dorm from Niall's frat party at a Wednesday. Who has a party at a Wednesday? There was a loud knock on the door as I heard Liam laugh.

I opened the door for him and saw Harry's arm around Liam's shoulder intoxicated like Liam. Harry's eyes met mine for the fourth time this week, not that I counted, but those rounded light-green eyes met mine was something I remembered. The first time was the lens-incident, the second time was when he had this strong eye-contact filled with satisfaction with knowing that he brought pain to my hand, the third time was when the four of them went out for coffee and I could sense Harry's eye scanning every move I made until I had the courage to look him in the eye. The fourth one was different. I couldn't even explain how intense he looked at me.

"Lou! L-Lewis! I'll sleep in Zayn's dorm, can you let this... Eh, ah, wha-what's your name again?" Liam asked Harry as the tall lad burst into laugh while Liam tagged along with his own giggles. They weren't just drunk, they were clearly high on something.

"Wha-what Liam means is I'll be sleeping here with you giraffe w-while Liam fuck the Hedgehog." Harry said as he threw himself on Louis' unmade bed on his stomach. Liam started to giggle like a little teenager with a crush as he hit Harry with my pillow. I had never seen Liam this high before and I knew it was Harry's fault. He had a bad influence on Liam and I had to do something about it.

"Hush! I'm not going to f-fuck the hedgehog, I-I'll be fucking the cat-"

"Hold the fuck on now, Liam you aren't some bestiality freak, I'm not a giraffe and what kind of drugs did you take?" I yelled to interrupt their fit of giggles and actions.

"Small, tiny, tiny pills and Liam's g-gonna sleep w-with the cat."

"Is Zayn a cat now?" I asked as Liam violently nodded his head. I rolled my eyes at them while giving the two of them a glass of water.

"You- you're the the hedgehog, Liam the... bear, Niall the giraffe, Zayn th-the cat and I'm a frog." Harry said before wrapping my blanket over his body while Liam did the same thing with his blanket on his bed.

I returned to my chair and continued analyzing the observations we saw in a social experiment, it wasn't difficult at all, but it required a lot of time which felt like I never had. So that was why I was doing the analyze now. Liam was now calling my name waiting for me to help him unbutton his shirt which I always did when he was to tired to do it himself. I unbuttoned his shirt and took off his Snap-Back while Liam took off his pant under the blanket with his eyes closed. I felt responsible for taking care of him as I folded his clothes, because he had always taken care of me. I dragged the blanket up to Liam's naked chest and watched him turn his back away facing the wall instead.

"Hedgehog?" Harry called as my eyes went wide open at the sight of Harry. His clothes was thrown on the ground along with his underwear and his socks while he still rested on his stomach without covering his muscular back and his curvy spine. He had a sheepish grin on his lips while his eyes were half closed. I didn't want to admit to himself that seeing Harry like that made me feel things, but I pushed that familiar feeling away taking my stuff and leaving the room. How the hell could I be so affected because of Harry's bare back?

"Hello?" Harry called one more time before I knocked on Zayn's door. Zayn opened shirtless with his hair in a low-bun, only his marvel underwear that Liam bought for him last Christmas. Zayn seemed to be shocked to see me in my usual black tank-top and black jeans, but it was my expression that surprised Zayn a bit. He let me in as I saw Harry's bed and his bed pushed together.

"Eh, I was expecting Liam." Zayn explained while he understood why I was standing here with my stuff. Zayn quickly put on some pants and a white t-shirt, because he was quite the shy person and didn't feel that comfortable without clothes in front of people. Wow, Liam did talk a lot about him.

"I can see that. I'll be crashing your place because your roommate is sleeping naked in my bed." I explained as I sighed afterwards. I made myself comfortable on the cold ground as I continued to work at my project, once the analyzes were done they would be presented in front of the class and I had to finish them before Easter-break. I was under a lot of pressure and would soon cry my eyes off while drinking too much caffeine. There were different parts of the analyzes to write about and I had to finish the analyze on the consequences of technology in the society. The only thing I had help for was some bar charts. I wrote down my thoughts and ideas until my head started to spin around while my eyelids became too heavy. The cold black-coffee didn't seem to have no effect anymore as it felt like drinking water. I rested my head against my notebook, just to recover and stop my head from spinning around.

"Bro." Zayn's quiet voice called which woke me up. I opened my eyes and saw that my laptop was shut along with my notebook and books was nicely put to the side. Zayn was watching me with his eyes filled with concern for me. I didn't have the power to have my eyes opened or my head in the air when I soon collapsed once again. I felt two strong hands under my armpits while I was clinging to the soft scent of Zayn. I felt the soft sheets against my cheek and enjoyed Harry's scent on the pillow case. A weight was added next to me before I felt the warm cover on my freezing body.

"You're working too hard, Lou." Zayn's raspy voice whispered before I drifted off to sleep.


	2. 2

"Mr. Tomlinson, I received your work, but I didn't see your analyzes of the interviews the other students did with different ages."

"W-what interview?" I asked Professor. Haze with panic written on my face.

"You're assignment was to analyze the whole project, including the surveys, the charts, observations and the interviews. I did read your essay and so far, so good but I want your analyze on the interview sent to my email due tomorrow." Professor Haze said with unemotional expression after all the other students were gone. I kept giving him small nods and fake smile but I was screaming inside. For the last few weeks I had worked on the assignment and could breathe once I had sent it to Professor. Haze, but my professor had given me even more to do in a Saturday. My plans on going out with Liam, Zayn and Harry's friend had to be cancelled, because of more work.

"Yeah, I will do that, Professor Haze." I said as I felt a big lump in my throat trying not to cry in front of the man. All the stress, the pressure came right back and I didn't want it. I had only got 40 minutes sleep last night because I tried to finish the chapter he had to read due today in English.

"Oh, don't forget that the presentation is after the Easter break. You, Ms. Ali, Mr. Hamilton and Ms. Coleman will have to arrange a meeting to discuss about the presentation."

"W-what? Aren't I doing the presentation alone?" I asked.

"Mr. Tomlinson, I know you've worked hard on this and I thought it would be easier on you if you didn't have that much of pressure on you shoulders-" what?

"But will the others present my work?"

"Some will explain what the project is about and you and a few others will present the results." Professor. Haze said after he left the class. I was standing there realizing that Haze had put all this pressure on me. I was the only one who had the most difficult assignment. Liam had only participate in doing the surveys and showing them in class along with a lot of students, but I had been forced to finish the whole project without any help. Axel Hamilton, Nadine Hart and Rue Coleman had nothing to do with his presentation and people would think that they had helped me.

I sighed after I left the empty classroom while I walked straight forward to the dorms. I wanted all the credits for my work, but felt relieved to know that he wouldn't be alone presenting in front of students, journalists, and writers.

"Hey!" Someone yelled across the hall. I turned around trying to find the unfamiliar voice. I then saw a blonde guy wearing a Snap-Back, a fraternity shirt on and rucksack traps on his shoulders. The boy walked to me and smiled widely.

"Are you Louis?" The boy only inches taller than me asked. I could hear a thick Irish accent as he pronounced 'are' and my name. I nodded, still sad over the fact that I still wasn't done with the project.

"I'm Niall, Harry's pal. Do you know where Liam is?" He asked while he removed the SnapBack to go through his blonde hair. I shook my head once again before unlocking the door to my dorm. I saw Liam wasn't there as Niall excused himself before walking away. I removed my glasses when I fell back on my bed and was too stressful to even breathe. The pressure was too much, too much to handle. I never had time to breathe as I was forced to manage good grades in every class. I was used to the pressure because I had been stressful my whole life. It was my parents fault, I always compared myself to my siblings wanting to break my parents stereotypical opinions on boys and girls. I always tried to impress my parents by taking responsibility to be the big brother and not act my age like the rest of the boys in school. I tried to be as calm like my little sisters. That led to where I was now, a not-so-masculine homosexual who cried every time he couldn't handle the pressure. I felt so small, so cold as my cold palms rubbed my goosebumps to create friction. I didn't take the blanket, because I had set alarm for 20 minutes rest before I should study again.

\--

I opened my eyes trying to see what was in front of me. I had sweat-pants on and a blanket covering me up to my chest. I searched for my glasses on the floor before putting them on. My swollen eyes widened as I saw Harry wearing ripped black jeans, short-sleeved jeans shirt and his hair pulled into a bun. His face literally glowed in the darkness smiling contagiously with his straight white teeth and his dilated strong green eyes. I felt insecure knowing my hair was a mess, my eyes swollen after crying to sleepless and my dried lips bleeding from biting the skin off.

"Harry? W-what are you doing here?"

"Good morning to you too. " Harry said before his attention caught Liam's sunglasses, but I couldn't even hear what he said.

"Liam and Zayn are using my room like it's their honeymoon." Harry said. I wasn't fully awake to understand everything Harry told me. He pulled away the curtains from hiding the window and my heart beat like a drum. I gasped as I noticed it was Saturday morning.

"Fuck!" I yelled frustrated while my hands found a tight grip on my hair. The alarm never rang, the alarm never rang! The last bit of the assignment was due today and I hadn't even start. I was angry at myself, because Professor. Dickhead had too much expectation from me and I wanted scream, destroy something. I stopped gripping my hair and threw the blanket at Harry along with my pillow. A very confused curly man stopped a very upset crying boy to remove the mattress.

"Hey, hey. What's wrong?" Harry asked politely when I went to the chair and pushed it down to the floor. He took a grip of my wrist as he calmly placed me on Liam's bed.

"Now that you have calmed yourself, are you going to tell me why you are having a meltdown?" Harry asked slowly in a calm tone which made me try to steady my breaths.

"I slept over 14 hours! I-I was supposed to sleep 20 minutes and do my essay a-and now I don't have enough time." I sniffed as I noticed I was crying in front of Harry. His grip was still around my wrists, but not so tight anymore.

"That's okay, I think you needed the sleep. Let's get some breakfast and then I'll help you with that essay, sounds good?" Harry said with a soft baby voice as if he was talking to a child.

"I know I'm acting like a five-year old, but I'm still an adult you know." I said as I whipped off my tears. Harry only smiled at my words before getting up from his knees and held his hand for me. I gladly took it as we went out.

We went to a coffee shop and ordered tea and two sandwiches. It was awkward between the two of us, because none of us really knew each other. I had always been Zayn's up-tight friend he had heard stories about and Harry was the hot friend who tried to steal Liam from me.

"So." I said trying to break the silence, but didn't dare to break the ice. I took a sip of my tea as Harry never stopped smiling, it made me uncomfortable and nervous.

"Louis." Harry said very seriously when he swallowed his food. I raised my rounded eyebrows as I looked at Harry's intense serious look. A lot of ideas was wondered to why Harry stopped smiling looking serious and kinda scary.

"Did you hear about the sensitive burglar?" Harry asked making me furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Wha-no. Harry what are you talking about?"

"He takes things personally." Harry finished the joke and laughed at it with his fist slamming softly the table. I stood absolutely still with a no expressions wondering how that was even slightly funny.

"Get it? Because he was sensitive?" Harry successfully managed to say between his laughs. An old lady siting the table next to us started to laugh along and complimented Harry on the joke. I sat there quiet waiting for the laughter to die.

"Was that you trying to break the ice? Because I think you made it even thicker." I said dryly.

"Come on, Louis. I did break the ice though." Harry said. I suddenly smiled fondly and shook my head disapprovingly before Harry told me how his aunt found it funny, but how she claimed that she was the one who made that joke. Our time in the coffee shop became an hour filled with laughs and chats, until we decided to go to the library. I found myself giggling at Harry's corny jokes. Not because it was funny, because seeing Harry's face when I laughed was something to remember.

He did break the ice.

\--

I was a bit surprised to know that the man I constantly drooled over was much more smarter than I expected. Harry was listening to the recorded interviews over and over again and wrote down notes. Harry looked like a work of art sitting there with his muscular chest; giving me a glint of his hard nipples. His eyebrows furrowed in focus while he kept licking his lips with that light shade of red on his tongue. That color of Harry's tongue reminded me of the sweetest things in the world, like those guilt-pleasuring strawberries me and my friends used to steal from next door in Doncaster. I smiled at that memory, wanting to have a bite of those strawberries and I to feel those lips attached to my neck. Harry wrote down notes, but stopped when I stared at him fondly.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, I just think you look like you know what you're doing." I quickly said something before turning my gaze to the less interesting.

"I know what I'm doing." Harry said with a wink. That wink shouldn't have that much of effect on me as it should and that led Harry smirk knowingly how he could affect me. How the hell could someone be this simply beautiful without trying? It was very unfair.

Harry and I connected very well after our long homework-session including me giggling, blushing and wanting Harry to fuck me hard. Ehm, cross the last one. I wasn't that desperate that I would let anyone have sex with me, they had at least ask me on a date. 

We spent the few days together hanging out like childhood-friends and Harry really was very friendly, not particularly shy, unsuspectingly smart and slow wise words seemed to always leave his pretty lips that I would like to have on my co- No, I did not want that. Harry was a friend, a good friend who could be straight. I was also straight, but straight like Harry's beautiful hair and another word for that must be gay.

Harry somehow convinced me that I should relax and stop stressing so much. I told him that stress was my middle name which got me a very nice back massage. Harry moving his hands on my back gave me a not that visible boner and a very embarrassed facial expression. I had no idea why I would be aroused by that. Harry had leaned his head on the curve of my shoulder when we were watching 'The phantom of the opera' (Harry insisted), Harry had touched my back when we walked through the streets and he had hugged me so tight that I couldn't even breathe. Then why would I feel like this when he gave me a massage? 

It must be the thought of it, how Harry's big soft hands gently touched with a little force on my back making me shiver and close my eyes in pleasure. His hands were amazing and I couldn't even imagine how his hands would touch me on other places...

So in conclusion, Harry was just a really caring friend who enjoyed watching musicals and sing them loud in the halls and I was just a horny tired asocial boy who spent too much time on Tumblr, stressing about school and jerking to every gay porno that existed.

\--

The newly couple were gone to visit families and Harry's friend Niall was off to Ireland telling us that he would witness the most important game in Derby's history. As usually nobody cared about Niall's talking sports, except for Liam who forced himself into it. 

Niall was the most energetic person I had ever met. He always acted like this typical fratboy who only talked about boobs, parties and his "fratlads". But after spending some time with him, I realized that it was just an act. He was a carefree, spontaneous lad with a strong personality and more insecurity than what I expected. Niall soon tagged along with our homework sessions in the library which forced me to control myself even more. He didn't do much work, mostly continued talking about sports. 

\--

"Yeah, tell everybody I said hi." I said in the speaker while I heard Liam's dog Loki bark in the background.

"I'll do that, Lou. Remember that you can always buy a ticket if you get a bit lonely or hang with Harry? I'm sure he's still in Camp."

"Maybe, but don't worry - I'll be fine. Talk later, yeah?" I answered and ended the phone call when I hear a cute little 'bye' from Liam. I stopped scrolling through Tumblr when I started to see the same posts. I then decided to read and sat on my bed with a cup of tea. I had only read a few pages when I heard a noise. I stopped reading for a second to catch the sound again, it was louder this time. The noise either came from room 316 or 314 (Zayn and Harry's dorm). I stood up and tried to follow the sound and it was definitely coming from room 314. It sounded like someone was in pain and heavy breathings were shared between those painful sounds? Were Harry hurt? Or worse, were Harry hurting someone? Curiosity took over my mind and I couldn't help it. I knocked weakly on he door, but nobody opened it. I filled my lungs with air and slightly opened the door.

How could I be so naive?

What my eyes witnessed was something I had imagined a lot. I was shocked to see Harry like this and he didn't see my arrival. His white boxers were hanging loosely on his left naked ankle, his laptop steady placed on his thighs very close to his knees. His head directed to the ceiling, eyes strongly squeezed shut, mouth slightly opened, his hands moving fast around the big red arousal with pre-come dripping from the head. I felt a lot tighter in my black jeans and I quickly covered my boner with my long hoodie. The whole scenario could make me come in a minute, but I decided to leave the room without him noticing. And of course I fucked it up with my knee hitting the door.

"Oh, fuck!" Harry said which made me turn to look at him. We awkwardly stared at each other and Harry still touching himself but not moving his hand. Those 5 second felt more like 5 minutes of the most awkward moments in my life. Suddenly Harry started to laugh hysterically for no reason. His very enjoyable tender laugh echoed making me smile awkwardly and Harry's laughter soon got to me. 

"Ehm, I'm just horny." Harry explained when he got up putting on his boxers with a hard-on. 

"I-I can - I should go." I said with my eyes glued on their stained grey carpet.

"No, no! No need to do that." Harry assured and fixed Zayn and his bed with no pants on.

"I r-really think-" I stuttered feeling my face burn and my cock only getting harder.

"Sit!" Harry demanded politely and gave me a cute grin. I sat on Zayn's bed while he put on some pants.

"I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." He apologized, but didn't look like he was sorry at all.

"It's fine, I'm the one that should knock."

"It's just that I've been in Uni for almost month now and I can't - I don't have time for girls.. You know dating and stuff." Harry explained.

"Yeah, I mean - I know what your on about. I haven't had sex for maybe two months now." I answered truthfully and a bit shocked that I was comfortable enough to tell Harry these things.

"Wow, that's quite a bit mate."

"Yeah." I said feeling a little bit ashamed.

"So we're both horny?" He asked with that famous dimpled smirk on him and his eyes giving me that intense look he used to give me in the beginning.

"I guess, ehm wha - why are you asking me?"

"What's your sexual orientation?" Harry suddenly asked and ignored my question.

"Gay." I said. This whole situation felt like an interview with wrong and right questions. Harry only nodded and looked like he was in deep thoughts.

"Tell you what, let's make a deal, shall we? During this week you and I ehm... enjoy each other as much as we like and we- when the Easter holiday is over everything will go back to normal, I swear."

"Wha - are you suggesting that we should be friends with.. benefits?" I asked and didn't know what I thought about that. It must mean that Harry was attracted to me, or? I didn't have the energy to think it through because Harry was leaning in for a kiss and staring directly at me with hungry eyes.

"Oh fuck it." I whispered and slammed my lips harshly at Harry's. He kissed me back and I let him hold my waist tightly and closer to his body. His lips on mine weren't what I expected, but still had that warm tingling calm feeling when someone really good kissed you and his lips moved tenderly around mine almost afraid to move it too fast or too hard.

We both moved slowly until we both were sitting on his bed. I broke the innocent kiss and sat on his crotch. His eyes never left mine when he leaned against the wall with his green eyes looking greener and bigger than ever. He kissed me this time, holding my bum closer to his crotch and forcefully stuck his tongue inside my mouth and oh- I take that back about Harry's kiss. It was better than I expected and I could feel his tongue swirl along with mine, stroking his tongue with mine forcefully. He sucked at my lower lip, the grip on my bum tightening and my breaths louder and quicker. His hands moved down to the end of my hoodie and his hands was wandering my burning skin tenderly.

He broke the sloppy kiss and took off the hoodie. Harry took of my pants quickly while his eyes narrowed at my visible boner through my briefs. Both our breaths had the same fast rhythm, his lips was in a much darker shade of red and his glossy eyes stared at my eyes in a such a wonderful way. I couldn't handle what was happening while we were grinding and I couldn't face what was in front of me. So I focused on the friction as I closed my eyes.

"Look at me." He said and his voice sounded more soft, broken and vulnerable. He suddenly touched me through my boxers and I quietly gasped with wide eyes.

"Ha-mngh." I moaned with my hands under his white t-shirt. His hands were tightly and dominantly hard on my very sensitive cock. I tried to hold eye-contact like he requested, but my misty glasses made it impossible. His hands moved slowly but still with that hard grip as I had to control myself for not coming to early. Harry watched his hand move up to the head and down to the pubes and looked up at me between soft kisses. I broke the kiss as my nose were touching his forehead and his warm breath hitting my cheek. My moans filled the quiet room and grind against his hand, desperate to come. He soon pumped faster which led me to the edge of coming. I could see a wet spot in Harry's boxers which weirdly turned me on. When I didn't think his hand could move faster, he proved me wrong.

"Harry!" I mumbled and released in his hands and in my boxers. His grip on my soft cock was gone and I collapsed on his chest.


	3. 3

Words weren't spoke in the first and second day of heaven. But it didn't matter, him and I felt, touched, and heard. I was drugged in happiness, nothing mattered anymore, nobody to impress, nobody to fail, nobody to judge. Only me on top of his long limbs in the sunlight shining weakly against my skin and his much lighter skin. I couldn't stop moving, the overwhelming pleasure wasn't enough for me, neither for him. The goosebumps weren't subtle when I teasingly circled my index finger around his nipple. I smirked at his reaction which only made me want to go faster. His hands were still gently placed on my thighs taking a road to my inner thighs. I could see how he eagerly wanted to take over, bend me over, fuck me hard until I couldn't remember my own name. I could see how he was used to being in control, but not with me. His hands wanted to squeeze my thighs until they were bruised up, but Harry never did that to me. Never wanting to break me.

We both soon educated our self on the small important things. He usually left small kisses on my collarbones and nipples, it always left me giggling while my hands lazily gripped on his long hair a bit harder. I usually left big red hickeys right under his sharp jawline and dig my nails on his back, biceps and triceps. We both loved how easy it was for us to just get on with it. Almost too easy.

"I'm close." He said while I had three orgasm this day. My hands reached for his hand resting on my thighs. I looked at his eyes, slowly nodding, giving him permission to grip harder. He just looked at me while I was left waiting in anticipation. He didn't do what I asked without asking and instead placed his hands on my back forcing me to lean on his chest. We both stood still as we watched each other until his hands on my waist moved me into his length.

He hit my prostate deeper, but not forcefully as I wanted it to be. That didn't matter so much now that I was coming on his stomach with whimpers escaping my mouth. I rested on top of him with my eyes closed while strings of come covered his butterfly tattoo. He came in the condom with a grunt and a sigh. I looked at him after a moment and found myself smiling at him. His green eyes closed, mouth curved into a beautiful smile and he looked like he took a big dose of happiness. Just like me.

"How was that for you?" He asked still smiling with his half-opened eyes.

"Never thought the kitchen table would be such a good place." I said and rubbed my cheek against his sweaty chest. I felt his stomach vibrating once he chuckled at what I said. We laid there naked, sweaty, tired on the kitchen-table. I rolled over and laid next to him. We stayed there in silence with our eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"What is- what are you thinking about?" I curiously asked with his eyes still staring at the ceiling.

"Stuff." He simply answered, easily destroying the conversation. 

"What kind of stuff?" I asked without a respond.

I felt a bit awkward for a moment, but I didn't want to do anything about it. Mainly because I was tired and my bum hurt, but also because Harry still was a very private person. I still felt close to him, it felt like I knew him better than anyone else. But he only participated in conversations that weren't about him.

"What kind of stuff?- You don't have to answer if you don't want to." I asked again as I shifted my body to his. Harry didn't answer and didn't even look at me. I felt a bit rejected, but would never admit that.

I've always enjoyed the beauty in life such as anything really. Harry was a work of art and I couldn't help but to appreciate it. It wasn't as if I had a crush on him, because that was the first thing I promised myself. The whole 'friends with benefits' was a first and I could see what consequences it would led. I'm not pessimistic, but perhaps consciously realistic. 

Why the hell did I agree then?

"I'm getting cold, shall we put on some clothes?" Harry cheered and was suddenly happy after minutes of death silence. He cleaned both of us with a tissue and a smile. He got up from the table and carried me bridal-style as I tried to cover my body to the bedroom. It got me blushing and laughing at how he suddenly was charming. He dressed me in his lilac knotted jumper that reached my mid-thigh and some white briefs, he only dressed himself in briefs and a white t-shirt.

"I do have to compliment your choices of clothing, it's very controversially beautiful and easy." I said as I had a grin playing on my over-licked swollen lips.

"So polite of you, Mr. Tomlinson I shall take your words close to my heart." Harry played along when we got to the bed for a search of the perfect movie to watch in his laptop. I was amazed over how Harry could be thoughtfully quiet and suddenly outburst into a glowing lighting ball.

"Indeed, I feel honored that my small words are worthy to have a place in your heart." I said quietly. 

Silence. 

I didn't think I was joking or not, because I would be honored. Harry kept looking through Netflix quietly for a film, ignoring what I said.

"What about Molin Rouge?" Harry asked and I agreed. He still was tensed over my words, but that was long forgotten after 30 minutes into the Musical. I wasn't that interested which led to a long slow blowjob for Harry because I felt like I always stepped on his line.

\--  
Third day of heaven couldn't be more perfect. Our short conversations somehow became long quiet deep talks while we laid on each other, breathing each others warming breaths. Harry was always trying to cheer me up, even if I wasn't sad. He was kind, gentle and was that kind of person that would never hurt a fly. But he always felt so far away, never really wanting to talk about himself or personal opinions. It felt like I was the only one giving myself while he drifted so far away as possible.

"Louis." His tender dark voice called me from my satisfying sleep. I opened my eyes and saw the beautiful creature with the cute grin he wore for the past days. I smiled at that thought, little overwhelmed that I was the cause of that permanent grin. His hands sneaked under my shirt to my back and pulled me out of his bed. I acted as if I still were asleep and couldn't stand straight. My body swung knowingly as I hoped he would hold me. A fit of chuckles filled the dirty dorm in the late morning. Harry held a tight grip on me, not wanting me to fall as I rested my face on his chest.

"Lou! I was something important to say." He said between his laughter. Lou. Lou. Lou. He called me Lou. He called me Lou. I hoped he couldn't see my hot cheeks or feel my heart pumping faster. I didn't want to know why I acted like this and a part of me already knew why. Zayn called me 'Lou' sometimes and he could never get me blushing madly with my mouth curved into the biggest smile. Maybe I always acted like this before, maybe I lost myself on the road of growing up and I found myself again in here? Or was it just this feeling that felt so familiar?

"What's so important you had to interrupt my beauty-sleep?" I asked and played annoyed and sassy. Harry smiled widely and took a grip around my wrist as he guided me to Zayn's bed. I crossed my legs when I sat on the bed with only a t-shirt and sweatpants on. Harry did the same, distracting me with his naked torso inked with the most random tattoos I had ever seen but yet the most beautiful ones.

"I don't think you need your beauty sleep anymore, but I would like to talk you about something important." He began and I was struck in confusion, wondering if he called me beautiful or a sleepy head. Instead of over-analyzing like I always did, I nodded my head.

"It's been three days since our agreement and I would want something changed-"

"Like what?" I interrupted him with panic coming across my mind.

"Lou, we both are friends and I think you don't have to be insecure about your body or acting like sleeping with me will always be perfect. It just feel so.. scripted. You're always trying to cover up your body when we aren't fucking and I don't like that you moan even if I'm doing a shit job, just to make me happy." Harry said scratching his ribs.

"So you're saying I should be more comfortable and honest- or? wha-"

"Yes! I want you to enjoy yourself just as much as I do. We have had sex eight times these two days and we've done it on my bed, your's, Liam's, Zayn's and on the kitchen table. I would love if we could be more... Uh- creative and fuck in different places because nobody is in camp and nobody is going to see us-"

"Harry what are you suggesting?" I interrupted him once again with a smirk.

"I dunno, maybe in the library, different bathrooms, in the showers."

"Sure, We can fuck anywhere and I will be honest and comfortable just like any other friend." I said. The rest of the day was spent with a little bit of homework, rimming, sleeping and continuing our musical marathon.

\--

The poorly-made cheese sandwich was eaten up and I was sitting, sipping my tea in silence. Harry was still eating and didn't say a word. Harry chewing filled the silence in the small kitchen while I looked at him for a while. He didn't dare to look at me as he was in deep thoughts. I knew now that the question I usually asked Liam would never be answered by Harry. Liam was an open book, if he had trouble or anything he would pour his heart out and never hesitated. I desperately wanted to know what Harry was think- no actually get to know him. His phone buzzed, interrupting him starring at the table.

"Hello?... Hi! Yeah it's great, I know. What is it?... Oh no... Bu-but they can't do that. Yeah I'll call you... Ye- love you too, bye." He answered the one-sided conversation I heard.

"Who was it?" I suddenly asked before I thought. Crap, maybe I was stepping the line again.

"Someone I missed." He said with a sad smile on his lips, not those fake ones he gave to me. I wanted to ask him again, but Harry got up and was cleaning off the table. My mind was jumping around in conclusions.

"You and I are going to the library." He cheered as I was spontaneously dragged outside with only our boxes on, messy unwashed hair and baggy t-shirts with giggles in between. But I never doubt that he was sad right that moment.

\--

Dried hands covered in visible outlines of his green veins matching the color of his eyes. The flesh of the front of his dried hand pressed against my less manly clean hands, because of how I suddenly was fixated on being clean near his presence. He didn't look his normal self, he didn't feel like his normal self. His small red pimples sneakily covering his forehead, the bags under his short curved eyelashes were in a dark shade of gray and his light-colored facial hair covering around his reddened dried lips. But there was a difference. It didn't matter what he looked like, Harry was looking at me, holding my hand as we ran through the halls. He looked happy with sad eyes.

"It's so quiet around here." Harry whispered, emphasizing on the s in my ear. Walking hands in hands in a lonely library wasn't something I thought I would do right now, but it felt right with Harry. He was a great friend and somehow made me feel satisfied in many different ways. Most importantly he made me feel satisfied with myself.

"Where should we continue our lovely Easter-break love-affair?" I asked, smiling widely at his tired face. He took a steady grip around my waist as I jumped on him, wrapping my arms around his neck and my limbs around his waist.

"I personally would love Mr.Tomlinson eagerly beg for me to have sexual intercourse with him." Harry said cheekily and dropped me on one of the many tables in the library while I tried not to laugh at him.

"Too bad then, Saying intercourse is such a turn off for me, twat." I said and he hit my arm lightly, exaggerating his offended expression.

"hey! I highly doubt my dirty-talking isn't turning you on. You're always turned on when you see me." Harry said with his infamous smirk as his long fingers rubbed my bum.

"I've wondered for many weeks why you are so full of yourself! And how do you know when I'm turned on?" I asked in my more high-pitched voice than normal. His hands brought me closer to his body as his crotch touched my inner-thighs while I slightly hit his chest with my hands.

"Well you see Mr.Tomlinson, I can always see how your cheeks are turning in a shade of pink as the look in your eyes is erotically intense. How you're biting your lips until they are abused by your teeth and how you desperately rub your perfect bum against anything for any friction."

"I think you've improved your dirty-talk, Mr.Styles." I weakly responded, my eyes never leaving his magical face. His face were closer now and I could feel his warm breaths warming my hot skin.

"I think so too." He whispered against the corner of my mouth. I closed my eyes and waited for the kiss to happened, but felt disappointed when I felt him pulling away.

"You can kiss me." I whispered in the quiet library when I was looking into his worrying eyes. He looked lost and confused, but so vulnerable and fragile. Harry's hand cupped my cheek with my instinct telling me to lean in his touch. His thumb rubbing in circles on my pale freshly shaved skin.

"I'm sorry." He suddenly said. He acted all happy this day, but something changed it now and I had no clue. I was about to ask, but felt his lips against mine moving in sync. I let his tongue move carefully with mine. Him sucking my lips and leading me into it felt different than all other kisses we shared. It wasn't rough or wet and not even sloppy. Only felt like the kiss I shared with a boy I thought loved once: unexpectedly slow but fast, rough but soft and filling me up with a careless attitude I never had, but always wanted. Nothing around me felt important, only Harry's lips moving on mine.

He gently pushed me against the table and he climbed up, getting closer to me. His knees hitting the table and my short legs draped in nothing but my striped briefs between them. His palms between my head as his cross necklace swayed in the cold air and his long wavy hair falling flawlessly from his mass of waves. His eyes shined the color green that always reminded me of the frosted grass when winter was coming. They still glowed a dull unique color behind the shadow of his hair covering his pale face. I could simply not lay my eyes on him, I could simply not stop desire him. But I was afraid of him not desiring me or paying as much attention they way I did.

"I'm sorry Louis." Harry quietly apologized to me and he continued the sinful act of rutting on top of me. I wrapped my arms around his broad back for my own needs, I had to be closer to him. Chest to chest weren't close enough for me nor was him being inside me, I needed to be closer and the more I was the more I craved it. It was an evil circle and I had no power trying to break it. I kissed his neck and face with slow lustful kisses with my hands on his back and bum. His hand caressed from my shoulders down to the end of my torso and slowly sneaked his hand under the hem of my underwear. Harry removed them until they were off my legs and his finger quickly found my hole without any lube.

"Harr- didn't you bring lube?"

He shook his head and slowly letting his finger get deeper in me. His dry finger were slowly moving and curling. It hurt, it really hurt but I didn't want to stop Harry. His kiss helped me forget it for a while, but his gentle kisses couldn't take the pain away once his second finger were inside, scissoring my dried walls with his dried fingers.

"Why's th- Is this w-why you're sorry? For hurting me?" I found myself asking him with my wet eyes on the long bookshelves organized into different books. Harry's breathing against my ears with small kisses between stopped after I asked.

"No." He whispered into my ear. His fingers picked up a faster speed and more roughly than he's ever done in these four days we've fucked non stop.

"Ow, ple- slower." I said as I tried to forget how he was stretching me wider to fit two cocks. He pulled them out and I let out a sigh as my hole clenched itself after being abused by two very dried large fingers. Harry got up standing on his knees while looking down at me. I rested my weight on my forearms as I watched him remove his red boxers showing the outlines of his arousal very clear. He removed them showing off his red erection, pit on his palm and stroke himself. He placed his hands under my armpits and next thing I know I was slowly sinking into him until I was sat on his lap. I hid my face in his hair and covered my mouth for not letting cry and whimpers out.

"I'm so sorry." He once again said. For each apologize his sorrow were less valuable until I would never believe his empty words again. Telling someone they're sorry should be said as 'I love you'. Those three words are often used when you truly meant it.

I slowly moved up and down with a painful expression, until I found my prostate and didn't care about anything.

"Hmpf- fuck... Faster." Harry grunted as his fingers removed his hair, letting me see his eyes closed in pleasure and his head rolled back. I did it faster as he ordered, letting my thigh-muscles getting worked up and our skin slapping against each other. I didn't moan, only guiding him were he should fuck me until I came. I came fast and loaded without a word or sound leaving my mouth on his stomach and on mine. I continued riding him with feeling drugged, angry, annoyed, used, but loved and safe at the same time. My eyes didn't wanna look at him, because he wanted it to be painful for me and his meaningless apologizes weren't even excuses for it. He made me feel angry and annoyed, but his touch made me want to protect, love, touch him as if I would die without it. I stopped riding him when he didn't announce that he was coming inside me without protection for the first time. I could feel the liquid spreading inside on my walls and prostate and I gasped with the thought of the consequences of it.

"Har-" I managed to say before I pulled him out and released myself from his grip. He easily let go of me, which made a part of me die a bit, but I would never admit it at that moment. It clenched itself many times with the familiar empty feeling, but I could feel the liquid slowly going down on my inner-thigh. I picked up my boxers and shirt and put them on while Harry was still in a sex haze resting on the table. I walked away with sore thighs and a very sore hole without a cry coming out.

"Hey, where are you going?" Harry casually yelled as I walked through the exit.


	4. 4

My steps were quiet and sneaky, but brought pain for each step I took. I walked too slowly and almost afraid of anyone who would witness me like this. Wreaked, tired and dirty. I forced myself to walk faster and small whimpers came out from the pain I couldn't bare. Once I reached my own dorm-room I locked myself and fell down pathetically on the floor as I hid my face with my hands. I didn't exactly have reason for crying, but I felt so much, too much for me to handle. I've always been an emotional person and I always denied it or push away them. Push away until I broke down into misery I've built.

I silently cried until my stomach craved for some food, I went to the kitchen and boiled up some chicken noodles as my tears continued to ran down my red wet cheeks. I wasn't even crying because of Harry anymore, I cried for nothing and everything. I missed my family, friends and missed being the person I was in High School. Joy and happiness was always there when I had my Sunday soccer games with the lads and they were always there to support and help me with any kinds of problems. School was easy and even fun, the hole atmosphere felt right comfortable and... home. Maybe I was homesick?

Two months here felt suffocating, stressful and I kinda lost myself. You're meant to figure yourself out after puberty, but I've always tried to be someone I'm not; the perfect son and a problem-free friend who only is sexually attracted to boys but will marry a lovely girl to have children with. That's what my stepfather wanted me to be and I changed myself for him to have a proud father. It was a lie I slowly started to believe in until I didn't remember who I was before. Now I'm here lost with myself with no clue over who I am and what I want to accomplish in life. I've never done anything for myself, all the grades were for mom, all soccer practices were for dad, all those late parties were for myfriends and I'm doing the same now. I'm pleasing someone else for his needs.

 

\--

 

My night was spent with more crying, noodles, reading and spending hours on Tumblr. I called my mom to feel a little bit like home, her yelling around the house always felt like home. She didn't notice my shaky and unsettle voice as her cheerfully voice kept talking about what had been happening while I was gone. I only paid attention when she spoke about my sisters and my little babybrother. Other than that Mom was gossiping about the drama going on in Doncaster or as I considered it unnecessary lies.

Harry had knocked on my door at eleven o'clock and I didn't bother taking my headphones off. He called and text me, but I shut down my phone after the first message I got.

**I need to talk to you**

It made my heart jump and it made me jump to conclusions. I was fighting with myself trying not to run to his dorm and return to him. I woke up with the same dirty feeling I had when I slept. I took my belongings and headed to the public showers. It was early and everybody was gone for the break, I knew nobody would be there. The floor was dry when I undressed myself as I looked at my body in the mirror. Dried semen spread over my stomach and my inner-thigh made me remember last night, but I looked good. My glasses didn't hide my bags because there were none. My skin was even tanner and my usual dried lips were replaced with light pink smooth lips. I headed to one of the single showers and gasped when cold water hit the top of my head and my shoulders. I quickly leaned against the corner as I tried to switch to warm water. When I could feel the warmth I stood still and enjoyed the water relaxing my tense muscles. The water wet the floor and I could hear someone stepping on it. I wasn't the one moving my feet.

"Someone there?" I asked as the steps stopped and I got no answer. A new horror movie was playing and I was the main character getting killed by the anonymous murderer. At least it felt like that. I closed the water and tried to make no sound when the steps came closer. I was afraid my heartbeats were going to be heard by the person out there.

"Lou?" The voice asked and it sounded like Harry, or Zayn? They were the only ones that would call me Lou and Liam of course had his own mass of nicknames for me that he heard mom call me. I slowly peeked when I opened the shower curtains and saw Harry in his red boxers with his products and towel in his hand and his clothes in his other. I kept looking at him until he looked at me. He left all his stuff next to mine and walked towards me.

"What are you doing?" I asked quickly covering my body with the light yellow curtains. Harry stopped and suddenly smiled at me, it wasn't a forced one either.

"Shower-buddies!" He said in a happy very familiar tone.

"If you don't mind of course." Harry added when he noticed my reaction. I didn't over-think or even think at all when I slightly opened the curtains for him to join me. He removed his boxers and placed his shampoo next to mine. I soon regretted my decision because I created such an awkward situation and I wanted to leave as soon as possible. Harry seemed to not feel awkward at all while he let the water run through his hair. He moved himself around in small circles as his hands pushed his hair back from his face. When his eyes opened they were looking right through me.

"Why are you covering yourself?" He asked and waited for an answer. I stood there quietly in the corner which covered my bum while my hands were covering over my private part. I didn't answer him and kept looking away from his glare. He poured some of his shampoo on his palm and slowly massaged his scalp.

"Aren't you freezing in that corner?" He asked and I didn't answer him again. I decided to stand here until he was finished and if I had to freeze then that was my problem, not his. He sighed and stopped looking at me when he continued washing his hair.

"What's wrong? Why are you being weird?" He asked when all the soap in his hair was washed away and he ruined my plan on standing quiet in the corner. Was he serious?

"What?"

"You heard me, is something wrong?"

"Are you serious?... Do you know what's fucking wrong? You are! Were supposed to be friends with benefits and last night we were neither of them. You fucking hurt me and didn't give a shit about it. On top of that you're a shitty friend. A friend is suppose to open up and be there, but I don't know shit about you while I've been for the past month an open book and letting you get to know me! You're so distant and I don't know why, I can sometimes feel like you don't want me there and sometimes I'm your best friend. Stop being a mystery, because I won't solve it."

"I- I'm not someone letting others get too close to me, you can't except me to tell you everything. I don't own you that. But you're the one acting wrong, we agreed-" He managed to say after a long pause.

"I always think I'm going to make it all worse, I've tried to talk to you but it doesn't work. So tell me what I've been doing wrong? Am I not enough? Would you open up if I was better or do you want me to let you go? Tell me what it is you want!"

"I'm sorry! Okay? I'm sorry! I thought you wouldn't turn out like this, I thought you would be different-" "Why are you sorry?!" I yelled frustrated.

"I've done this before and I've lost many friends because of it, it wasn't my fault. They were the ones breaking the rules, not me. They all asked for more and the-... I didn't want that. All my friends with benefits were always like a vacation from my problems and you-. In the library, I could see how you.. slowly changed and I tried to end it but I couldn't stop myself."

"Harry what are you on about? What the hell is changed about me?" I asked tired of being confused with my arms crossed over my chest. His eyes glued on the floor as his fingers went through his wet straight hair.

"I think you're into me... you know more than friends and it's going to be worse if we don't stop now." He answered leaving me with wide eyes and a frightened look on my face and my whole body pumping. I cursed in my mind too many times as I tried to speak.

"I knew you were full of yourself, but this only proves my point better. You really thought I like you that way?" I chuckled confidently as my feelings were locked in a small room in my mind were nobody could find them. Not even me.

"But you- I saw how you looked at me in the library, you were so happy and y-you kinda... glowed before I tried to hurt you." He said and confusion was written on his face. I stepped closer to him, knowing that I should confess and be honest, but where was the fun in that? I wrapped my arms around his neck and gave him a slow peck on his temple and further down to his ear.

"You're the last person I would fall in love with." I whispered a lie I forced myself to believe in and kissed his wet lips with a lot of force and Harry shyly moved his lips with mine and let me suck on his neck and collar bones. I went down on my knees and took a grip around him and looking up at Harry who was avoiding my gaze.

"Okay?"

"Yeah.." He answered too quietly after he sniffed and I took his soft length in my mouth and sucked the top until he was hard. I left my grip on his cock and held myself steady with my hands on his hips, nails digging down in his flesh. Harry wasn't vocal, but I knew he was enjoying it by how he tried to thrust down my throat. I kept sucking harder with my eyes closed, focusing on breathing through my nostrils. I stopped when I felt something cold on my head and Harry's hands moving on my head, washing my hair.

"Harry." I mumbled which didn't even sound like his name while I tried not to smile. I moved my head faster as I could feel the sour taste in my mouth. His hands massaging my scalp and me sucking him off were enough proof for me to know that I made the right choice. This was better than crying because Harry didn't feel the same for me. As I said before I push my feelings away and it had a benefit to it. He kept washing my hair and my upper body until I could sense that he was close. The water washed away the soap on my shoulder, hair and neck and Harry came deep inside my throat with a quiet groan. I swallowed and got up wrapping my arms around his waist. He kept avoiding eye-contact and washed his own body with his sponge. I followed his action and did the same.

"Harry?" I called as I saw him with his stuff leaving me all alone in the steamy shower.

 

\--

 

Fifth day of heaven.

I made a terrible mistake


	5. 5

*months later*

"Ah, Lou." He grunted against my neck as I felt goosebumps and my heart beating harder against his bare chest. His eyes closed, lips attached to the curve of my neck, his hips slamming against my inner thighs making him moan loudly in the quiet room. I silently listened to his fast-beating heart, his soft gestures like cupping my bum delicately. For each thrust he gave in I became numb in his hands. I know he would soon stop being gentle and fuck me with hate in his eyes, but his lips would never show any affection of hatred. Only lies I stupidly believed in. He lifted and placed me in the bed, still being inside me. His hands squeezed gently my shoulders before he thrusted hard and expectedly in me, not aiming for my prostate. I felt heavy, but light. Weak and hated under Harry. His hands quickly squeezed my shoulders harder, his thrust deeper with a faster speed and his eyes never wanting to meet mine. I kept looking at his face when I became numb to the painfully pleasure with my teary eyes.

"I want to hear you." Harry mumbled between his moans. I whimpered louder and tried to let quiet forcing moans slip from my mouth, because that was what Harry wanted. I would do anything for him to be pleased with me. I would give everything, just to be near him. He was so far away from me, yet close. As the days went he slowly wasn't the cheerfully kind man who cracked jokes with elderly woman at coffee shops, he was just a stranger touching me, a one-night stand. But, oh I would do anything to go back before entering a situation I childishly called heaven. I would do anything to be near him.

To hear his laugh, his jokes, his opinions, his voice, hear him breathing heavenly, his heels hitting the floor and hear his loud thoughts . To feel his skin, his hair, his lips against mine, his eyelashes batting against my skin and to feel like he really desired me the same. To see his small wrinkles n the corners of his eyes, his dimples, his meaningless tattoos inked into his pale skin, his smiles with his teeth, his silly faces and see the innocent grin he had plastered on his face the first time I saw him playing football with the blonde friend of his. I would do anything for him, even if that had to be pain.

"A-ah, Harr-" I managed to say when I felt him picking a faster speed with his face next to my ear whispering sweet things I knew he didn't mean.   
'You're beautiful, Lou',   
'So tight around me',   
'look at you, making the sweetest sounds',   
'you're perfect like this'.

You're always perfect for me.

All that came out of that wonderful mouth was sad lies, Harry said that to everyone. It didn't mean as much for Harry as for me. This was because both of us was desperate and horny, it was an agreement and I accepted it. Even if I kept saying that to myself, I somehow took every word of Harry's to heart. I kept blushing, my stomach flipping upside down, my body shivering and leaning in to his touch, my laughs becoming louder at his corny senseless jokes, my eyes looking at every part of him and my mind never left the thought of Harry.

My hands took a handful of his long wavy hair as his head kept going up and down. I wanted to meet his eyes once he pushed in, I wanted to see his smile and rosy cheeks when he watched me whimper under him. Harry's head sank into the curve of my neck as I sensed that he didn't want to see my face. Only wanting my body, nothing less. That was what I was, a vacation for him. That thought reminded me every second when those swollen lips kissed my shoulder softly. I was just a good shag, nothing more to Harry. I might even be worse compared to the other people Harry had sex with. He couldn't face me while using my body as a sex doll. How could I possibly not cry at that idea.

"This isn't working f-for me." He muttered trying to breath. Harry lifted himself up with his forearms and finally looked into my wet eyes. It felt like minutes before Harry flipped my body on the bed as I now rested on my stomach. My cheek pressed to the pillow with the sheets stroking against my cock and Harry's full length deep inside me. I tried to focus on my non-existed pleasure to avoid myself from wondering Harry looked so guilty when he met my eyes. His chest grinding against my sweaty back, his raspy dry voice kept moaning my name so beautifully and his hands wandering down from my hair, to my shoulder, down to my ribs and dominantly squeezed my thighs once his hand couldn't move any lower.

"I'm close." Is all he said in a loud whisper before he was thrusting shortly harder now until I was shivering and crying in silence. I felt how my walls suffocated his cock when my bum clenched itself automatically; making the pain even more painfully. Harry swore once again and stopped thrusting; letting me know that he spilled into the condom. He kissed my back lightly and rolled to the other side of the bed next to me. I felt how empty and stretched I was when Harry pulled out.

I dared to turn my head so the pillow was felt on my other cheek because I wanted to see Harry. His naked body was now covered in a blanket with his back against me. I was still achingly hard just waiting for Harry to let me finish like he used to, but it wouldn't happen. After realizing that Harry really didn't care to take care of me. I put on my clothes fast and decided to sleep in Liam and Zayn's dorm.

Harry didn't even stop me.

**Author's Note:**

> Don't judge me, I ain't about that happy ending stuff. But thanks for reading! :)


End file.
